The first time I ever sang karaoke was in 1993 when I was touring the states with the Continental Singers. At one of our mall stops, which were every few weeks to stock up on supplies, there was a karaoke contest for charity in the middle of the mall.
We were a singing group, so naturally, we all jumped in! We sang one song as a group, then a bunch of us jumped in and sang a few songs to help raise money. It was so much fun because there were store owners donating money for us to keep it going. I had the time of my life.
I'll never forget that I chose to sing "Open Arms" by Journey. I love Journey. I love that song. Probably one of the most influential bands of my youth! (Not to mention that I had a thing for Steve Perry!)
I sent the tape of me singing to the guy I was dating at the time. He was back home waiting for me to get back and my biggest cheerleader. I chose the song because I wanted him to know how much I wanted to be back home with him. When I got home, I'd be there with open arms for him. Ah, how time flies by. I wonder if that tape even exists anymore... If it does, I wonder if anyone listens to it anymore...
I wonder how different I sound singing the same song now....
You knew it was coming... Here it is, me singing Open Arms, just last night. I didn't practice, I just grabbed the audio and recorded in one take. Not too shabby... what do you think?
A friend made a comment online about current events in the media for Pennsylvania on social media. In jest, I replied with a snarky comment intended as humor.
Alas, I failed.
Instead of sparking a giggle or wink, I have offended my friend. It's the age old issue with social media, that it is difficult to tell if someone is serious or joking, and if the intended target of the zinger is offended, his/her family and other friends will also be offended.
I received a private message from my friend that essentially told me that my words had hurt and offended and that my friendship was no longer desired.
I'm not going to mince words with you all, readers... I was heartbroken. At first, I replied saying, "Oh, c'mon... it was a joke!" Then I went to his facebook page to remove the zinger only to find that he had cut me off. He revoked my "friend" status. I have become a stranger to my friend.
I returned to instant messenger and sent another message to my friend saying, "You cut me off over a joke? I thought you knew me better than that."
Now, I regret sending that last message. I followed it with a sincere apology for my behavior.
You see, I have a unique brand of humor that is not appreciated by all. While I know my friend has appreciated the humor in the past, it would appear that this one just pushed the envelope too far. How can I fault this friend for being offended? Read in the wrong tone or attitude could certainly come off as rude and unacceptable.
I have now written a deep heartfelt apology to my friend and plan to mail it tomorrow. I'm hurt that I have offended someone who I care about. I'm hurt that I may have destroyed a friendship. Mostly, however, I am hurt that there are so many things that were left unsaid.
Thank you, Friend, for being my rock while I was facing some of the darkest demons in my life.
Thank you, Friend, for loving me when I felt unlovable.
Thank you, Friend, for seeing beyond my flaws.
Thank you, Friend, for making me smile and laugh.
Thank you, Friend, for all the things you did without ever knowing you did them.
I'm sorry, Friend, for all the times I hurt you.
I'm sorry, Friend, for not giving you the value you deserved before it was too late.
I abandoned the diet after being sick with the flu twice. I'm right back where I started. I'm not discouraged. I'll just start over!
Blog Survey:
No one took it. I'm beginning to believe I have very few readers. Feeling discouraged. Contemplating dropping the blog completely.
Texting Social Experiment:
Was kind of a bust. I broke and texted 2 friends, making initial contact because I knew they were going through some stuff. The only person who initiated contact with me did so out of guilt after reading my blog about it. BUST. Perhaps I am that annoying friend.......
Emotions:
I'm a hot mess right now. I'm emotionally overreacting to a lot of things and I don't trust my emotions right now. I don't know if I have a right to be down about the things I am down about. I don't know how to move forward. I don't know. I just don't know.
Here's a song that is helping me through the day today.
In 2006, a group of friends, my husband, and I decided to cash in on my parents' time share and go to Vegas. I had never been there and really wanted to be able to say that I made the journey.
We made all the plans and even though we had only gotten married a few years before, my girlfriend and I decided that we were going to renew our vows with our husbands in front of Elvis. Oh yes. We wanted the ELVIS experience! We were going to wear outfits from the 1960's with go-go boots and short skirts while our husbands would don jeans, tshirts, and Chucks. We really wanted to do it all up and make it fun.
A few months before we left, both of us got pregnant. We were each 4 months along when we left for Vegas and the Elvis plans fell flat.
The highlight of our trip was seeing Celine Dion in concert. The boys did not want to go, so the hormonal pregnant ladies went alone. We love Celine. LOVE HER. We sprung for the cheap seats in the nosebleeds and considered ourselves lucky that we would get to see her perform.
When we got there, we went up an escalator, then another, and another... 5 flights of stairs in total. We were truly in the very last row at the top of the venue. Here's the view:
Once at the top, with swollen feet and ankles, the usher took our tickets. She looked at them and said, "There's been a cancellation by a group and Celine," (right, like they are close personal friends) "Celine doesn't like to see empty seats on the floor. Would you mind if we swapped out your tickets for floor seats?" We nodded in eager anticipation and she gave us new tickets and led us back down, one, two, three, four, and FIVE escalators to the floor seats.
She handed our tickets to another usher who said, "Oh, you have EXCELLENT seats!" We followed him up the aisle... further and further... until we landed in the 5th row from the front.
This became our view:
This was the very best show I have ever seen in my life. She had acrobats, dancers, a fantastic orchestra and it was CELINE DION. I laughed, smiled, cried, and just went through every single emotion. This was the highlight of our trip and I hope to one day see her perform live again.
In honor of that fantastic adventure, I'd love to share some of my favorite Celine songs with you.
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face: Makes me think of my little girls. It's a beautiful song and a beautiful performance.
It's All Coming Back to Me Now: This was a collaboration with Meatloaf... the video was epic, the song is epic... touches my heart every time!
All the Way: Duet with Frank Sinatra. Get me a tissue.
I've been reflecting on a lot of things lately, and I can't help but wonder if my Blog has a purpose. I would love to get an idea from my readers to see what your thoughts are on my blog. This is completely anonymous survey that would help me out tremendously with future blog initiatives.
Please, follow this link and take this survey to help me out!
I can't really put my finger on it. I'm just feeling a bit down this week.
To be honest, while at work, I am acting as I normally do. I'm cheerful, lighthearted, whimsical, and sarcastic. Nothing there has changed.
At home, I'm still a mom, a wife, a cook, a doctor, and everything else I usually am.
The whole house is sick, but I don't think it is that dragging me down.
I can't really put my finger on it.
When I'm alone, I'm feeling lonely, which usually isn't the case. And when I'm not alone, I find myself wishing I was alone. I'm checking my phone quite a bit, and I'm wondering if my social experiment to NOT reach out to others is affecting me. I am, after all, a people person. Perhaps I'm feeling insignificant because I have not been contacted by friends and family members. Perhaps I'm just realizing that I make more initial contact with friends and family than I had thought.
I have broken down, by the way. I texted a friend who I knew was sick. I also reached out to my husband while he was at work. Both were thankful to hear from me.
There is something to be said for remaining quiet.
While taking inventory of some friendships recently, I took an inventory of interactions and who they were initiated by.
With my closest, dearest, and truest friends, the initiation is equal. Sometimes I call them or text them, sometimes they call/text me.
Some friendships, however, are lopsided. One friend not only stopped initiating conversations, but also stopped replying. After nearly 3 years, she's back and expects that I can simply pick up where we left off. It isn't that easy. I've been hurt by that friendship and am questioning how much she values it.
In other instances, the conversation is witty, entertaining, enjoyable. We share back and forth and the conversations are well balanced. I noticed, however, that I seem to be the one to reach out all the time. It makes me wonder what would happen if I kept silent.
And the last type of friend... the annoying one. Yeah. You know... the one who texts ALL the time. The one who comments on EVERY SINGLE facebook post/tweet/instagram. The one who starts sending friend requests to YOUR friends because they like the comments that friend has made on social media. The friend that is overbearing, ever present, and even though you know they have perfectly good intentions, they irritate the snot out of you. I really hope that no one sees me that way. *sigh*
It's time for an experiment. I decided it is time to say nothing. That is, I decided to remain quiet and not initiate conversations with a few friends. They do, after all, have their own lives and I do not want to intrude on those lives or become annoying. I want to see how many of them miss my interactions. I want to see which ones decide to reach out to me when they notice I've been quiet. I will reply to them, naturally, I'm just not going to initiate. How many texts will I get this week? Hmmmm... I wonder. I'll report back in a week with my findings! What do you think will happen?
