A Tribute

Between  in 1996 and 1998, I spent my undergrad years at West Chester University of PA.  Dorm life didn't suit me, so my best friend and I rented a room from a nice married couple who had graduated a few years earlier.  They introduced us to many of their friends over our time as housemates and we all were the best of friends.

I'll never forget meeting Bob Truitt.  Bob was very quiet.  He was a student of human nature and liked to fade into the woodwork as he quietly observed.  I, on the other hand, am loud, boisterous, friendly, and flirty!  I could not stand for him to be so quiet all the time, and as such, I took it upon myself to bring him out of his shell.

We played the popular card game of the day, Magic: The Gathering.  Oh yes... we were nerds.  As we played I learned that Bob was a bright and witty man.  We attended church together and his quiet, dry humor always had me giggling at inappropriate moments!

In due time, our conversations became more private, and private conversations become deeper in content.  We were both at a crossroads in our social lives, trying to find ourselves, if you will.  I had been through an emotional whirlwind with a failed relationship and he confided in me that he had actually never dated.  

We were great friends, trying to find our place in the world.  What were we being called to be?  What were we being called to do?  Who were we being called to be with?  We decided to date.  It was kind of a social experiment.  I needed to be with someone I could trust to be a gentleman and I knew that Bob would be.  Bob needed someone who understood that he was a bit of a late bloomer in the relationship department, who wouldn't rush him or have false expectations.

We had a lot of fun together.  We would people watch and play games.  When all of my roommates were out of town, he stayed with me for a few nights to keep me from being scared of being alone.  He slept on the floor and we had an old fashioned sleep over party, playing truth or dare, pillow fights, late night conversations.  

We talked about the dreaded First Kiss.  Our first kiss as a couple would have a little added pressure on me because it was also his first kiss ever.  I knew in my heart that I wanted to make it special.  It had to be a moment he could always look back on with fondness.  One that burned in his memory as one of the greatest moments of his life. 

A few weeks later, he took me to meet his mother and step-father.  They lived in Maryland, near Ocean City.  I devised a plan.  We went for a walk on the beach at sunset.  It was late in the fall and the weather was cool and windy.  The beach was deserted.  With no one around and the soft glow of the orange and pink sunset, the roar of the ocean crashing, and the smell of the sea in the air, we shared our first kiss.  

As time moved on, we decided that as strong as our friendship was, there was no real romantic attachment between us.  We cared for each other, but there was no true deep love or passion.  We mutually decided to remain friends, but discontinue dating.  

Life marches on.  I graduated, met someone, got married, moved away.  Our friendship faded into memories.  Years later, we would find each other again on social media and have little chats about this and that, reliving our younger years.  

On December 23, 2015, Bob was headed home from PA to MD to visit family for the holidays.  It was his 42nd birthday.  A car from the other side of the divided highway crossed over the grassy median and crashed into Bob's car.  Bob died shortly thereafter from his injuries.

You always think you have so much time... to catch up, to share memories, to show someone you care.  You always think that there is always TOMORROW.  But there isn't.  I found out Christmas morning.  I remembered that I had forgotten to wish him a happy birthday and when I went to do it... I found out he was gone.  I never wished him a happy birthday.  I never had asked him if that first kiss remained a fond memory.  I never said goodbye.  I never.....

Goodbye Bob.  I know you are in a better place now with angels and our Father.  I'll miss you.  I already miss you.  I'll always remember you and that kiss with fondness.