I spent so many nights in college listening to Moody Blues... there's just something so mesmerizing about their music.... something that puts me into a trance... and HELLO? JAZZ FLUTE!
Tonight, I'm thinking a lot about someone I care about very much. This friend is going through a bit of confusion in life. A crossroads, you could say. I want to reach out and help. I want to hug my friend and say that it's all going to be OK. I want to be a shoulder to cry on, a warm comforting hug, or just about anything that I can be to help. I know, though, that it isn't my place to overstep a boundary. I certainly don't want to make things worse, but I fear that I already have.
I often have a very guilty conscience. I feel like I should be able to solve problems for people and that if I can't, then it must be my fault that the problem remains. I blame myself when my friends and loved ones are in pain and I cannot make things better for them. Shouldn't I be able to make things better? But sometimes when we try to make things better we end up making them worse.
"Nights in white satin never reaching the end. Letters I've written, never meaning to send...."
Have you ever done that? Written a letter, text, email and then stared at it, re-read it over and over, then just before you hit the send.... you delete it. I've deleted 4 blog posts this week. I'm wondering if I should delete this one, too! Well, I guess we will see if it makes the cut....
I live in music. I live in song lyrics. I can find in my mind palace a thousand song lyrics for any given day. Every situation has a lyric attached even when I sometimes don't know why the songs are in my head. For example, why Moody Blues right now? What lyric in that song is trying to speak to me right now?
"Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore..."
My heart is twisted in knots. I hope my friend is ok. I hope my friend isn't feeling alone or sad or depressed, or unloved. If nothing else I could be there to distract, amuse, comfort, and listen.
I wonder why it upsets me so much. My heart just wants to make things better. Sometimes, especially in my younger years, I was willing to risk losing things that were very important to me for the sake of making things better for someone. What I would do to take my lonely friends and make them feel part of something, or show love to someone who feels no love, to feed someone who is hungry, or to comfort someone who is aching with heartache and pain....
I often have a very guilty conscience. I feel like I should be able to solve problems for people and that if I can't, then it must be my fault that the problem remains. I blame myself when my friends and loved ones are in pain and I cannot make things better for them. Shouldn't I be able to make things better? But sometimes when we try to make things better we end up making them worse.
"Nights in white satin never reaching the end. Letters I've written, never meaning to send...."
Have you ever done that? Written a letter, text, email and then stared at it, re-read it over and over, then just before you hit the send.... you delete it. I've deleted 4 blog posts this week. I'm wondering if I should delete this one, too! Well, I guess we will see if it makes the cut....
I live in music. I live in song lyrics. I can find in my mind palace a thousand song lyrics for any given day. Every situation has a lyric attached even when I sometimes don't know why the songs are in my head. For example, why Moody Blues right now? What lyric in that song is trying to speak to me right now?
"Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore..."
My heart is twisted in knots. I hope my friend is ok. I hope my friend isn't feeling alone or sad or depressed, or unloved. If nothing else I could be there to distract, amuse, comfort, and listen.
I wonder why it upsets me so much. My heart just wants to make things better. Sometimes, especially in my younger years, I was willing to risk losing things that were very important to me for the sake of making things better for someone. What I would do to take my lonely friends and make them feel part of something, or show love to someone who feels no love, to feed someone who is hungry, or to comfort someone who is aching with heartache and pain....
"Every heart is breaking tonight is the heart of a child that He holds in his sight. And oh, how he longs to hold in his arms, every heart that is breaking tonight."
This blog tonight is dedicated to every heart that is breaking. Someone is feeling for you tonight. Someone is thinking of you. Someone is praying for you. Someone is loving you. Someone is holding you tight in their arms and I so desperately hope you feel it.
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