Fantasy vs. Reality

Welcome to the real world.

As a writer, I find that I spend a lot of my real world time lost in a land of fantasy.  I create new characters, stories, situations, heroes, legends, myths, and folklore.  I have a thousand new creations swirling around the fantasy in my brain.

Here, on this blog, I concentrate on the TRUTHS in my life.  The reality that I live in, the memories of my past, the honesty of my emotions, and how those realities shape me and my life today and how it will be tomorrow.

Oh, but the fantasies are so real, too.  They come to my mind and are often so vivid that it is as if they are real, too.  The characters in my mind are dashing and passionate.  They stand for something and LOVE ALWAYS WINS!  There always seems to be a dreadful obstacle that keeps our hero from our heroine, and somehow, through pure love and valor, that hero finds a way to defeat the obstacle and rescue the heroine, giving her the deepest purest love.  Ahhh..... that's some gooooood stuff...  Blame it on my romantic heart.

I'm currently binge watching Outlander, an original series on Stars.  First, if you haven't seen it, please do.  It's amazing.  I read the first few books in the series many years ago and I am not disappointed with this at all.  :)

Very minor spoiler here:  In the story, a woman falls through time and ends up in the past.  She has fallen away from her husband and the life they were building into another era where things are vastly different.  In order to save her life, she must marry, and finds herself in love with a new man, a new husband in a new era.  She is so conflicted.  She loves them both.  What can she do?  In the past, her husband hasn't be born yet.  Is it cheating?  In the present, her husband thinks she has disappeared, but she holds on to hope that she will return to him again.... somehow.

Both men are dashing and valiant.  Both men are fighting to protect her.  How on earth is she to fix this in her heart?  A fortune teller reads her palm and says that she has the most confusing love line... for it is forked.  It shows two marriages, but does not show that either one ends.  How could she be married to two people at one time?  Easy... two different eras.  HOW WILL IT ALL END?

Oh, how I love fantasy!  I love that when I watch these shows I throw myself into the characters and become them for a while.  As I watched tonight, I texted my husband and said, "This show is going to give me a heart attack!" because the pure emotional connection I made to it was intense.

That being said, there is something about returning to reality that is a comfort.  I can throw myself into a fantasy for an hour or two yet rest comfortably knowing that I will return to reality soon enough.  My reality, my life with my wonderful husband and children, is an AMAZING reality.  I am so very happy.  My husband never fought off a Red-Coat or defended my honor with a sword or a pistol, but he does look out for me and my best interests.  He does a lot of things to show me that he cares and is on my side.  For that I appreciate him even more, and I love him dearly and will for all my life.

And when the darkness falls, and I read a book, or watch another movie or show, the fantasy all begins again and takes my breath away.

The trick is drawing a line between fantasy and reality and being able to keep each one within their proper realm.  I know too many who have created a world of fantasy and fail to come back to reality.  They risk losing their reality to the fantasy and then find that the fantasy simply cannot exist.  Then, they have NOTHING.

Let's create an example with fictional characters:  Mary, the bored housewife, married for a dozen or more years to a hard working man, creates a fantasy involving the mailman.  He is handsome.  Dashing.  She imagines him to be the type to wine and dine and romance the pants right off of her.  In her fantasy, he's an amazing kisser who smells amazing and buys her flowers once a week.  He does everything he can to win her heart.   She slips into this fantasy daily, then decides that she wants it to be her reality.  She tries to seduce him, slowly.  Little flirts at the door each day lead way to casual touches on the arm.  The next thing you know, she invites him in.  Her time has come.  He leans in to kiss her and smells like salami and drools like a dog when he kisses her.  She's disgusted!  The fantasy was so much better!  She wishes she had stayed with the fantasy, but alas, she ruined it all forever when fantasy and reality collided.

Sometimes it is best to keep your fantasies in a fantasy world and remember how great your reality is.  Further, if your reality isn't great, perhaps it is time to find a way to make it great without resorting to the fantasy.

There's an amazing world out there.  An amazing reality to discover and explore.  Fantasy is amazing, too.  Just don't allow yourself to be sucked into the fantasy when reality is waiting with open arms.

Now, I should tell you that it is 1:30 AM.  I have the flu.  I'm heavily medicated.  To me, this post sounds brilliant, but in REALITY, it might suck eggs.   I suppose I'll know in a few days when this all passes.   Until then, feel free to leave me a comment and tell me what you think on the subject!